Moving Forward

Damn. One year since I last posted.

I also may need to rethink the name of the blog, given the AK is 12, closing in on 13 years of age.

So, what can I say about having decided late in life to adopt? I can say that it is worth it - despite the times that I long for some downtime. Watching him grow, worrying over his future choices, hoping we can do all we can to influence those choices - yes, all worth it.

Realizing that he is not a projection of me, my desires, but he is going to be whomever he is; that has been one of the most difficult things for me. Giving him the space to grow, watching him grow; all these make it worth it.

He is no longer in a special ed class - first time in his life that this has happened. Yes, there are struggles but he seems to have things under control, relatively speaking.

Insanity

My thoughts flow between impatience at the ever-so slow pace of getting our son, to being incredulous that we are seriously doing this, "at our age."

When I read about the milestones of fostering, particularly the part about being tired and exhausted - the self-doubt really kicked in.

I mean, in the eyes of many, this is the age we are supposed to be getting all comfy in those big easy rocking chairs, watching golden sunsets.

Instead, we face the rising sun, the arrival of our ten year old.

Why are we doing this? As some, who upon learning of our efforts to foster/adopt, have asked: are you insane!?!

Well, one thing that has happened with the passage of time for us is that we now know that part of our journey on this earth, perhaps the only part that really matters, is about what we do for one another.

How do we give back; how do we make this world just a tad bit better for having lived here.

Being two same-gender loving men, who lived and recall life before time's passage and the toll of AIDS on those we would have grown older with; we have witnessed much. We have much to share. What better way to share than with someone who has started life with so few around him.

So, if that makes us insane - then, yes - we happily are.

Coming Together

This is the first of what I hope will be many notes, journaling the adoption of our son.

We come to this late in our 30+ year relationship but with enthusiasm and wisdom.

The one we hope will be our son is almost 10 years old; if all goes well, by the time, he is living with us, he will be 10.

For us, he is the child we have been waiting for, over 30 years.

Thus, the journal: Almost 10, over 30.