Moving Forward

Damn. One year since I last posted.

I also may need to rethink the name of the blog, given the AK is 12, closing in on 13 years of age.

So, what can I say about having decided late in life to adopt? I can say that it is worth it - despite the times that I long for some downtime. Watching him grow, worrying over his future choices, hoping we can do all we can to influence those choices - yes, all worth it.

Realizing that he is not a projection of me, my desires, but he is going to be whomever he is; that has been one of the most difficult things for me. Giving him the space to grow, watching him grow; all these make it worth it.

He is no longer in a special ed class - first time in his life that this has happened. Yes, there are struggles but he seems to have things under control, relatively speaking.

Month 4

I will sit down soon and sort through it all; part of my new year, new beginnings ritual. We are into the 4th month now of full time living as a family.

Each day is a new revelation; a peeling back of what this child has inside of him; locked away even from his conscious view.

He is so vulnerable and wants this to work so badly. He wants to trust but has his life experience which tells him to trust no one, especially those who say, I will be here for you.

We have in place a great team (after some mis-starts) and that is what is helping him slowly open up.

heroes

when you hear folk talk about foster care heroes, typically what they are thinking of are the volunteers, the foster care parents ...

but truth be told, the true heroes are the children in the system...

they come not by choice, expected to navigate as best as they can...

even if fortunate to have a loving family to which they can be returned, the trauma is something that most children never have to deal with...

for those others, they are challenged to survive in a system that, at best, puts a premium on their physical safety;

efforts to deal with their emotional needs are mostly drug based.

any child who can survive and thrive through all of this has to be a rare child -

we believe and hope we have that child....