S Generation

I thought about changing the blog name to something like "Sandwiched!" to more accurately capture my life.

While I have found myself making more PB&Js than I have made in a little bit; that is not the reason for the change. It is because we are not just raising a ten year old late in life, we are really living life fully fledged as members of the sandwich generation.

My eighty something year old mom has been with us now for close to 5 years. We brought her into our home due to health crises she suffered; which include breast cancer.

My partner is her primary caregiver. Due to her health challenges, she had to have a colostomy. She has arthritis and lacks the dexterity to change the bag; my partner is the only one who she wants to change it.

As one would expect, all these health challenges, plus having to give up your independence have led to her feeling depressed. The one thing that has brought some joy to her is having another grandchild who she can spoil as she did with her other grandchildren.

It was because of the experience of becoming her caregiver that we pushed forward to commit to this adoption. We knew that while caregiving has its challenges; it also has its rewards of helping someone who is in need.

Yes, there are days when I mutter and wonder, but this is what life is about - giving back till you can give no more.

Insanity

My thoughts flow between impatience at the ever-so slow pace of getting our son, to being incredulous that we are seriously doing this, "at our age."

When I read about the milestones of fostering, particularly the part about being tired and exhausted - the self-doubt really kicked in.

I mean, in the eyes of many, this is the age we are supposed to be getting all comfy in those big easy rocking chairs, watching golden sunsets.

Instead, we face the rising sun, the arrival of our ten year old.

Why are we doing this? As some, who upon learning of our efforts to foster/adopt, have asked: are you insane!?!

Well, one thing that has happened with the passage of time for us is that we now know that part of our journey on this earth, perhaps the only part that really matters, is about what we do for one another.

How do we give back; how do we make this world just a tad bit better for having lived here.

Being two same-gender loving men, who lived and recall life before time's passage and the toll of AIDS on those we would have grown older with; we have witnessed much. We have much to share. What better way to share than with someone who has started life with so few around him.

So, if that makes us insane - then, yes - we happily are.