Finally

This month, we will finalize the adoption. It is has been an amazing journey. Along the way, we lost my mom. I had hoped she would be able to live long enough to witness the ceremony.

But this is life; we make it all we can in the time we have.

I will post more later.

Halloween Check In

Seems I have resorted to a 6 month blogging period ...

Anyway, things are progressing; the reality is here and he is doing well... sensing now more of who he is and he is adjusting to having a couple of parents... a new thing for him

into skateboarding and computer games, I somehow need to entice him to read more....

about once or twice per month, we go to a UU church - right now, it is something he resists but once there, does really well with...

trying still to connect with other SGL families... that will come in time

Five Months?!?

Has it really been that long since I journaled last?

We are moments away (figuratively) from the end of the school year; it has been a roller coaster ride for sure. We all thoroughly despise the school - and still are working to try to get him out of it by next year.

Yes - despise is a very strong word. But, the right one, I believe. He was attacked yesterday by another kid. This is the same kid who, a couple of weeks earlier, fought him and then, when home, sent him an email - calling him a "fag."

Of course, brought all this to the attention of his teacher and the administrators - no action and it escalated to the attack yesterday. Now, I have more higher ups paying attention. All we want is a safe environment where our son can learn and feel free to be himself.

S Generation

I thought about changing the blog name to something like "Sandwiched!" to more accurately capture my life.

While I have found myself making more PB&Js than I have made in a little bit; that is not the reason for the change. It is because we are not just raising a ten year old late in life, we are really living life fully fledged as members of the sandwich generation.

My eighty something year old mom has been with us now for close to 5 years. We brought her into our home due to health crises she suffered; which include breast cancer.

My partner is her primary caregiver. Due to her health challenges, she had to have a colostomy. She has arthritis and lacks the dexterity to change the bag; my partner is the only one who she wants to change it.

As one would expect, all these health challenges, plus having to give up your independence have led to her feeling depressed. The one thing that has brought some joy to her is having another grandchild who she can spoil as she did with her other grandchildren.

It was because of the experience of becoming her caregiver that we pushed forward to commit to this adoption. We knew that while caregiving has its challenges; it also has its rewards of helping someone who is in need.

Yes, there are days when I mutter and wonder, but this is what life is about - giving back till you can give no more.

Month 4

I will sit down soon and sort through it all; part of my new year, new beginnings ritual. We are into the 4th month now of full time living as a family.

Each day is a new revelation; a peeling back of what this child has inside of him; locked away even from his conscious view.

He is so vulnerable and wants this to work so badly. He wants to trust but has his life experience which tells him to trust no one, especially those who say, I will be here for you.

We have in place a great team (after some mis-starts) and that is what is helping him slowly open up.

Time's March

Time - that is the one thing that feels so fleeting, lately.

We never have enough to do all the things we need to do; the weekend rolls around and before you know it, back to the week day routine.

We are at the 45 day check point and are going through an assessment of school - that is the one hugh disappointment - the school system here *sigh*. The whole thing is complicated of course by the diagnosis that the kid has.

But from where I sit, at least today, right now - he is doing remarkably well, all things considered.

Jumping Off The Ground

IMG00130-20090913-1308.jpg
Originally uploaded by cmh0150

This is a good photo, shows him (his feet) bungee-kinda jumping.

We were at a community festival; end of a long day/week.

In the close to month, he has been home; we are more a family - all things compressed though into a few weeks - getting to be who we are, while at the same time, being open and knowing that we are not who we have been.

Anyway, it has been intense and full and worth it all.