amazing love

feels much like a roller coaster, but thankfully, not with the full g-force effect - we have cleared the air, made clear the rules and engaged, fully, in accountability...

and, yes, again clearly and amazingly know that this is right....

our very own crisis

before, the crisises that we heard about were all attributable to the system, the caregivers who did not really care....

now, we have our very own crisis - fully attributable to no one but our child in the new family unit...

without getting into it (very difficult to write here and maintain confidentiality), we have to now deal with lying....

torn

at this point, i alternate between periods of complete and utter contentment with periods of unmitigated fear and depression, knowing things are moving forward....

the feelings in the former are understandable and expected....

the feelings in the latter are not....

perhaps they are brought forward by the reality of dealing with a system that, for the most part, doesn't appear to genuinely and passionately care....

today, i had to deal with the educational system....

*sigh*

right activity

finding the right activities is a challenge....

now, we are looking at what would be the right gymnastics activity...

of course, all are a ride away...

Changed Reality

Schools will be a challenge -

He is such a smart kid - on our last visit, he asked us whether he could go to private school. I asked him why he wanted to do that; he said he thought that they would be fun, with more things to do.

When we moved here, the dismal state of the local schools was a theoretical issue - an annoyance for sure as it was a drag on property values....

But now, given the requirement that children who are in the state's care must attend public school, it is a very frustrating thing.

While we know that, when the adoption is finalized, we can make choices outside the public school system; that is going to take a few months.


*sigh*

sham

maybe fatigue is settling in, but right now, feeling that much of the finesse claimed by the public social services system for the protection of children in need is a sham....

there is a basic level that is provided children - keeping them out of harm's way and sheltering them but that is in truth about all there is...

for the emotionally fragile or challenging child, medication is the solution offered and preferred....

late to heelys

you miss out on much when you don't have kids in your life - like heelys

so, in the window of limited hours that we had been given for our first official visit, we did some frantic looking to find some, as that is what he asked about....

we did not find them but got some knockoffs that hopefully will hold until we can get the real ones and get him home